I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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