I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
