Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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