Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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