I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
