2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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