I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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