we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
