what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
