My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I will die if light touches me.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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