his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize