Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
True but thats because hes a fetus.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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