Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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