coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
