her vagine was all disorganized.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize