If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
