I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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