dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
