after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
