If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
