when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
