Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
