Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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