Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
