I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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