i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she looked like the before picture.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The struggles of a small town man whore
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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