Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
