I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you had me at cake vodka
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
