So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
