That's intense
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
