Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
