i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
