Don't make out with my wife yet
it was like his penis was on wheels.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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