Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
