girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
