He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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