u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
