Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize