So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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