I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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