if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
