Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We smell like vodka and hangover
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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