is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
