problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
