is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize