Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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