So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize