he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
