Im at strip club and am horny
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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