What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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