i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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