If i come over, it means nothing
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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