who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
