Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize