I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
