Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
