Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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