no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
