when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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