Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
