Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize