ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
