you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
