well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
