My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
